"High Probability of Ovarian CA

It has been a year ago today since I had an ovarian cancer removed.

I am thinking tonight about last year.
Staring at the preliminary CT report that said "High probability of ovarian CA".
How incredibly scared I was.
I still am, I suppose.

I know the doctors say my survival rate is good.
A stage I cancer.
Chemo for good measure.
Low CA-125 levels since the end of treatment in June.
Clear mammogram in August.
All is going well.

But, it's always in the back of my mind.
Who am I kidding? It's in the front of my mind on a daily basis.
What if it comes back?
What if some stray cancer cells weren't caught? A few loose cannons that the Taxol and Carbo didn't kill.
Will they end up in my liver or colon like the cancers that took my cousins, Wade and Karen this past year?

Every little ache.
Every little twinge and I begin to wonder if it's starting all over again.

I realize this is no way to live. I have to get on with life.

I can't let worry be the thing that ends up killing me.

A Message For Pat

No more backward thinking, time for thinking ahead...

Overheard At The Nurse's Station

Unit Secretary: "What time is the pt from COH getting here?"

Registered Nurse: "I don't know yet I have to talk to the doctor about it. They said they were putting the pt in an ambulance and it will be here in 35 minutes."

Secretary: "Really."

RN: "Yes. I told them we cannot accept the pt. without the doctor's approval. They are just trying to get the pt. out of there by passing the bucket."

Overheard in the Therapy Room

Therapist: "What kind of test did they take you down for this morning?"

Elderly Male Patient: "I don't know."

Therapist: " I saw them taking you off the unit earlier this morning. You don't know what test it was?"

Patient (clearly has no idea): "It was a sex test."

Therapist: Did you pass?"

Patient (smiling): "With flying colors!"